Awaken
by Cross Genesis
Summary: When am I asleep and when am I awake...I could not say anymore...When would I escape this cape of darkness, when will I find the end of this long road...I don't know, and I'm afraid I'll never know...ever.
1. What waits for me?

It's very fragrant, very soothing…I could feel its scent gently blow with the warm east wind, an earthy scent of dirt with the lovely scent of its perfectly ripened fruits. Her soft hand found its place in between the crevices that are between my bandaged fingers, and slowly placed it on the tree's rough bark.

… "_What about this? –cho"…_

I have smelt the fragrant aroma once again…it wonderfully tickles my nostrils and my senses, I slowly stepped a little closer to the tree to be sure of what it really is, then the warm breeze swept over my red hair as the scent became stronger…

… "_Peaches"…_

… "_Correct! You'd be seeing this world once again in no time-cho"…_

I stayed in my rigid position as I tried to absorb her words…. I don't think I would see this world very soon, I'm not even sure if I could see anything ever again…from the beginning, I perfectly know that it was already pretty hopeless for my case, nothing could ever change anything…we would need a miracle to bring back what I loss, I only agreed to go to Asia so that Allen and the others would still have a reason to keep on fighting, because they know that I will be waiting, even if everyone else dies in this war, I would still be here, hopefully waiting for them to return. They wish for me to welcome them with my open arms, smiling towards them and my emerald eyes glistening with the same solid hope and joy, a wish that may never come true, but they would cease to fight if they knew that I believed in God no longer …and I would not want them to stop fighting for the sake of this world, I would not want them to stop fighting for the Allen's Vision.

From the moment I agreed to be the next successor of Bookman, I perfectly know that my life would be at stake every day, that I would stand at a very rough cliff, I know that nothing would ever be permanent again if I entered that forbidden border that the world itself secluded because of its unspoken dangers, and when I allowed the Order to borrow our bodies to be an exorcist, I know that my everyday life would be twice more dangerous, because I am forced to fight deadly demons who could kill me in a matter of seconds, but despite all the trouble I would get into, yet despite what it may cost me…I agreed to it, because I would have the chance to know more than what history could ever tell me, I could know the truth behind the truth itself. But I never expected God to give me a more cursed life than I already have.

… _"We must head back-cho…Looks like a storm is brewing-cho"…_

A brewing storm, when was the last time a saw one…Days? Weeks? Months? Or even years? The marvelous sight of seeing the vast skies asymmetrically collide beautifully to bring forth the very powerful wrath of God…I've always wondered, does God stir up the storm himself? Or is it the Noahs?

_ … "Sure, but I want to ask you…"…_

… "…_when will you stop taking Chouko's form, Fou-san?"…_

I heard the fizzing sound of her changing form, maybe she changed back to her crystallized form, and then I could predict that she sat on the nearby bushes since I heard a rustling sound from the soft grass.

…_ "I only take her form since it would help you recover faster"…_

It was her original voice now, the only thing that I can be sure about her features, I could hear a hint of annoyance from her tone, but I could not ever blame her…she spends every day with me just to guide me back to my sight when she could just rest inside the Asian Branch. But it was Bak-chan's Orders, she could not argue…and it's for the sake of the Order

… _"Recover? Don't you mean adapt?"…_

_… "Shut up, Baka Lavi"… _she somehow shouted, if only I could see her, I'd be sure of the annoyed expression on her face, but I could not really picture it very well, since I only saw her once, the time when we used the ark to get to the Asian Branch… "_Walker and Yuu were worse when they got here… I would bring you back to the battlefield, and you would return in a better state, I promise"…_

That's right, Allen was in this branch when he lost his Innocence after his encounter with that curly haired Noah, Tyki Mikk if I remember correctly, and Yuu was biologically born here as a Second Exorcist almost a decade ago…and when they got in the battlefield, they were better than before. They have been one of the Church's Aces against the Earl. Will I be one when I get in the war again? What am I saying? I know that I won't be getting back ever. The crusty, old, panda turned his back on me and left me in the Order, even after the years we have been together, even after the wars we have observed together…he still left me alone. It is possible that the Order would just leave me if they find me to be unproductive or just a waste of space, they might just leave me as well.

…_ "Fou, should you not be going back?"…_Bak-chan said from my golem, it was one of those old fashioned golems, those with wings…the earing ones were a beeping a lot and I would hate to live my life with the beeping sound constantly disturbing me… _"Head back to HQ, the storm might be pouring anytime now, and Chouko was a bit unstable while you were away"…_

The bushes once again rustled, she must have already stood up, and then her footsteps began to draw a bit farther…_ "Last try for today, get back without tripping or falling down"…_

…_ "Yes, Ma'am"…_


	2. She saved me!

Sorry it took so long...

I have some review saying that it my fanfics has so many grammatical errors and typos...I'm sorry for those guys, i just can't really check them properly since I'm a bit busy with a few things...again sorry

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Burnt…the displeasing smell of smoke was rapidly invading my senses, my body feels so hot inside out and my chest was harshly tightening…like it's been set on fire from within ; my head was staring to get clouded and I feel nauseous. How long was I unconscious in this environment? Inhaling too much air from this polluted atmosphere cannot be that good for my lungs…I have to escape. It's getting hotter and hotter by the moment.

Good thing I have my hammer nearby. I slowly used its extended handle as a cane to stand straight and walk in the fastest pace my body could possibly manage…I started coughing since I began inhaling more smoke in this certain height, I should have crawled to escape but without my sight, it's almost impossible and I have managed to stand up already. The only thing that I could do is to keep walking. Like how Allen would never stop…surely I need my eyes in this unfamiliar place, but I could lose my sight if I expose them in this unstable environment with no protection whatsoever, not only could ember enter my eyelids, the environment itself could slowly burn them once exposed. Stumbling and tripping was very much unavoidable…yet no matter how much pain I've experienced from the falls and tumbling downs , I still tried to get up, even if it hurts so much…but this time, I could not just continue anymore. My whole body hurts from the burns. I dropped my hammer the last time I tripped and it was nowhere near me now. I could no longer think straight, my chest was severely burning within...This is where it ends.

… "Stand up!-cho"…though it was a faint voice I clearly know who it was. I feel my tears prickling my closed eyes… "Stand up, Lavi! You could not just give up that easily!-cho"…I won't stop; I refuse to die, not in this place. My funeral will have an open casket and I lie down inside with my handsome face smiling. No way would I allow my body to be burned to nothing…I'm sorry, Chomesuke…you'll have to wait a little longer before we see each other again and that time. I could finally see your face...I did not stop, I stood up even though my body could not…I don't care if I fall again, at least I was fighting until the end of my race. I kept on walking, I did not know where am I heading to but I did not care anymore…I've been living a senseless life ever since that day…what's the point of knowing the result in the end. It does not matter whether I'll like or hate the outcome, what matters is that I had the chance to record history and someone else could make use of that hidden information… "Lavi!-cho"…I felt something solid in front of me, and it's quite brittle…must be a brick wall that was damaged by the fire. And her voice came from the other side.

The first impact of my fist to the wall was very much painful, yet after a few more punches…my hand began to feel numb, I no longer thought of the pain after every punch…and maybe it started bleeding already, my knuckles were twitching in pain every time it hits the wall but this might be the only way to escape this place…after a few more. The wall finally broke down and I fell down with it to the hard ground…the impact was harsh since I fell on my damaged chest, I might had coughed up blood as I tried to recover my strength… "Lavi-cho"…I felt a cold hand sweep over my face. It might be alright to open my eyes already. A blurry image of her face came to sight… "I'm here, Lavi-cho"…dirt and ashes might have ruined my sight, I feel my tears rising and I closed my eyes once again so that my salty tears could wash off the dirt. This time maybe I'll finally see that beautiful face of hers…after a long time. I slowly opened my eyes…everything seems to be clearer than usual, I finally got my sight once again after a long time and then…and then…

I woke up being held down by Chouko

… "Are you alright, Lavi?-cho"…it was a dream, like ones before. But this one seems way too real than the other ones yet the setting never changed, at the verge of opening my eyes I would just wake up and find it to be just a bad dream…a fragment of my visual memory punishing me, breaking me inside... "What's wrong? You were crying in your sleep-cho"…I sat up from the futon I napped on; I could hear Bak and the other members of the Science Division work nearby, I must have slept in his office since I keep hearing those many beeps from their many monitors… "By the way, Lavi, Wong-san said that there was a message sent for you from the European Branch"…Allen and the others want my updated status no doubt, they never fail to call Bak-chan or send some messages to my golem at least once in every three days, they should care for themselves more...they are the ones who stand a chance against the Earl but instead of resting in their free time, they do everything to just keep me from being homesick…I should go to Wong already, it's really noisy in here and I want to hear their messages already.

… "Chouko…could you help me to Wong-san?"…I asked her as I tried to search for my boots under the futon and slowly put them on my bare feet, I'm still improving my sense of touch and my sensitivity to various textures, but I find it a bit hard since I've always relied on my sight…I searched for my cane as well since I remember using it to get in here from the dining hall by myself, Bak-chan must have called me for an evaluation on my current yet he had some work to do and piles of papers to sign so I had to wait for him long enough for me to fall asleep.

… "Lavi-kun"…I heard Bak-chan call for me from behind… "Your updated status should be with me by this evening before dinner, got it?"…I nodded at his words, even Komui wants me back…Sad, I don't know if I could.

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P.S. Won't be updating that soon since my school would start shortly...expect a week or even a month's intervention between chapters ...

Pls. review and enjoy


	3. Homesickness relieved

Sorry for the late upload, Busy with school

Lemme clarify a thing...Chouko is not Chomesuke, Chouko is an OC ( No, this is not a LavixOC fanfic) though I admit that they share a lot of similar features, but they are really different people and also Chomesuke is dead in this fanfic...dead for now.

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I could not help it but to squirm on my bed. Maybe I'm way too excited to hear their cheerful voices once again. It has been almost a week since their last message that has been sent here. Bak-chan told me that according to Komui they could not really find time to rest because of their very busy schedule in the European Branch and they have been receiving more and more missions from the Pope than usual. Komui also told him that they hardly get some rest and sleep. If only I could fight with them, I could ease their pain and suffering somehow. But I only add up to their concerns because they communicate with me or Bak-chan instead of using that little time to nap or to rest. Wong-san forced me to stay in my room since venturing such a vast headquarters like the Asian Branch would be dangerous for me, Fou-san told me that even the ones who have lived in this Branch for the longest time gets lost as some chances as well. I have heard that they have more residents than the actual Headquarters.

The sudden noise of loud and heavy footsteps nearing my room interrupted my deep thoughts... "I brought you something!-cho"…it was the familiar enthusiastic voice of Chouko echoed through my room. Why does she never tire of taking care someone like me? Why do they pity such a cruel being like me?

Chouko was one of the very few humans that were still living in Edo for the past years, the Imperial Capital that was governed by the Earl for almost three centuries. Her life in Japan was not that grand and she must fight for her life just to survive another day, yet she was the one that aided me while I was almost bleeding to death after a harsh fight against a monstrous Level 4 Akuma even if she had to give me the food and water that was supposed to sustain her for the next day. If it was not for her, I would have died there in an instant either by akumas or Noahs.

… "It's your messages from Europe-cho"…but even if she was the reason why I am breathing until today, why I still live and why I still have hope of living my life as an exorcist once again. I could not help it but to feel such hatred towards her, I still find my blood boiling in anger every time I am around her…because she was a constant reminder of the wretched Holy War that began in Edo, of my life as a Bookman since she was the one who placed an extension to my insignificant life and of Chomesuke. Her bubbly and self-sacrificing personality that made me fall for that beautiful akuma who gave her life for us, her cheerful voice that brightens my eternally dimmed world, almost everything about her. They seem very similar to Chomesuke. I have found them so alike to the point that I suspect her of being Chomesuke herself…which seems very much impossible…

She placed my Tome on my palm. It was a device that Bak-chan and Rikei made just to make me enjoy my stay here in Asia even if I am sightless and could not marvel the beautiful sights that surrounded the branch; it allows me to listen to my favorite books and to the messages from Allen and the others from Europe. I slowly pressed the only button that was on the edge of its rectangular body.

… "I want to go first!"…Timothy grumbled. That boy is really a troublesome one. I wonder if exorcists with such awful personalities like Yu never get extinct. He will surely be the same as Yu when he grows up.

… "Timothy could wait for your turn?"… Allen politely asked the child, but I could sense a hint of annoyance in his tone. I guess Allen could not hide that scary side of him any longer, so it is not just gambling or Cross that makes him into that guy

… "Just get it over with, Moyashi"…Kanda spat out. He was just obviously forced to do this. But no matter how he denies it, I know that he would always miss me annoying him.

… "It's Allen, Ba-Kanda"… Allen evilly said to him. Will those two ever stop fighting?

… "Stop it, both of you!"… Lenalee said to them both, possibly separating them… "If you won't say anything, then I'll go first!"…

… "It's already on, Lenalee", Reever said, his voice was a bit loud so I could tell that he was the one holding the recorder

… "Oh, Okay"… Lenalee charmingly said… "How are you there Lavi? Is Bak-chan treating you well? Nii-san told me that he missed you running around the Science Division and disarranging his piled up papers…Your room was already cleaned by Allen-kun and Kanda-kun yesterday, it was one of their many community services since they wrecked the whole dojo from their fights , Johnny also made you another coat, I bet you'll love it. It has a lot of flashy design. It looks like a biker's leather jacket with the Rose Cross as the main design on the left chest, it also has many pockets for your stuffs and a matching bandana, the bandana is amazing! It shines under the sun and gleams with the moon. Everything is just plainly amazing and I bet you'll really love the design…Umm, I guess all I want to say is that we miss you being here and please return to us as soon as possible…I'm done, who's next?"…

… "I will"…Allen exclaimed… I heard a faint grunt from Kanda so he must have pushed him away while taking his seat before the video recorder…"Hey Lavi, we just got back from a mission in Siberia. You should have seen Kanda shrivel from the cold, he looks really hilarious. He actually looks like a doll that was being tortured by the cold, I could not sleep with the sound of his teeth gritting while we sleep, and it was so annoying…Anyways enough about Ba-Kanda. Jerry-san also made me the pasta that you always eat every day. Honestly it tastes really bitter. How could you eat that all the time? I also fixed your books in your room; you should really buy another shelf or place your other readings in the library. We just piled up your books on the side of your bed. Hope they could stay like that for quite a long time…Don't stay too long in Asia, you'll probably get killed by Fou-san since she sees us exorcist as a waste of time…See you then. Kanda! Get your Japanese ass in here. It's your turn!"…

… "No way in hell, Baka Moyashi"… Kanda growled

… "The name's Allen, how could you not remember that after the millionth time?"… Allen bluffed

… "Kanda-kun, could you just say something to Lavi"… Lenalee begged

… "Tch…Oi, Baka Usagi"…He paused for a really long time, and none of the others interrupted that silence. From all of us in the order, he was the one that was always far from the group, the one that excludes himself from everything. But no matter how much he distances himself away from us. There is a part in him that longs for us, and we know that he knows that he could never deny that no matter how much he says that he hates us… "Don't die unless I kill you"…

… "That's cruel, Kanda –de aru"…Krory said after his words. He is the oldest one amongst us, but not really the wisest and the mature one but none can deny the father-figure he is to us. He's not just a fellow exorcist; he is that father that God gave in exchange of our biological ones.

… "It's almost time to deploy to your new mission in Argentina, Canada and Israel"…Chief Komui said, he might just have entered the room since I heard a faint sound of a door closing… "Is that for message for Lavi? Let me just say hi"…

… "Chief, you always get to talk with him with Chief Bak"…Reever insisted

… "You're so mean, Reever! Lavi-kun! I miss you here already Lavi! I made another kind of golem that could project vid- Mmphm"… Allen must have covered his mouth since he said nothing but mumbles.

… "Just turn the damn thing off, Reever!"…Kanda exclaimed

… "Y-y-You're h-hopeless, K-Komui…S-see you th-then, Lavi"…then everything turned silent.

I could not help it but smile, even if they is so much burdens placed on their shoulders, even if they are already suffering, they still are the same. The same Krory that is still naïve and innocent about the cruel world, the same Komui that gives everyone a lot of trouble because of his many invention, the same Lenalee that treats us like her own family and would always try her best to save us all, the same Yu that never laughs but I actually see him smile while he spars with me or Allen a long time ago and the same Allen that would be always there for us…Every time they send me messages, every time Allen tells me about their latest mission, every time Yu growls at the video recorder. I could perfectly remember every scene that happened in the battlefield and in the Order like it was just yesterday…and it brings me both joy and pain.

… "You have very good friends in Europe, don't you?-cho"…

Friends? Not exactly the exact word that I would use to describe our beautiful bond. A bond that was built with love and a strong will to save each other's life, a bond created by the cruel God who brought a war before mere children, a bond that was protected by our "Innocence" within our hearts and is slowly being destroyed by the Innocence in our bodies.

… "They are not just my friends-sa"…

Not just friends. We are more than that. More than just a group of exorcist that were coincidentally brought together into the Order…

…"They are my true family"…


End file.
